Star Date 1: A Brief Introduction

So this is where I have arrived, a unique plane of existence centered around a day to day struggle that never has plans of ceasing. A shuffle from blankets, to coffee, through a shower, and into a day so predictable that one might be led to imagine it happened yesterday.
There have been rumors around the mill that once you grow old, life just passes you by. I used to not believe, but more and more I am seeing the truth. The younger kids all know the hippest trends, the most inspiring music, and how to seem on the cutting edge. I used to be among them, however, too much time on the razor's edge will eventually get you cut.
I left the place of my youth prematurely, before I was ready. I ran north to lick my wounds and have seemingly found a place to stay. An area of adaptation that has turned and shaped me into an unrecognizable figure, only half resembling my past self.
Many claim to still know me, so many have rested judgements by simply letting the words: "I can relate," from their lips. I hope that someone can, because through relating, there must at least be marginal understanding. My head has become a tangled web of ideas and concepts, lies and truths, and desire. I always leave out the desire. I feel guilty for having it, for wanting more. Like Oliver Twist, I am constantly wanting more.
I was speaking with a dear old friend about the differences between comfort and happiness, and I have decided that although starkly different from one another, they are revolving on the same axis.
One will never be comfortable with at least a sizable pocket of happiness. One will never be happy without finding some sort of comfort. The world keeps on spinning quickly, and the longer I have stayed in one place the more clear it has become: Adaptability is the bridge between happiness and comfort. I would go on to hypothesise that if one has the ability to adapt, then one will always be open to both comfort and happiness.
The peril lies in over adaptation, a malady I feel I suffer from somedays. There is no variation, just the warm light of creature comforts provided through the painstaking task of repetition. The same keys in the same ignition, turning the same gears to move down the same stretches of concrete. The same foodstuffs to provide the same energy to tackle the same amounts of work. The same blankets in the same basement to provide warmth and security and a place to dream the same dreams.
Dreams of freedom encircle my head. I want to cut ties like the dumpster diving saviors on the north side of Des Moines. I want to be forced to migrate south with the winter trains, keeping the company of other lost souls on a back-track freight liner. These things plague my dreams, so I hope that they are one day coming. However, I know I will never leave the comforts. I know I will never give it all away.
What would I then be giving away? The American dreams of peace, calm, and prosperity that keep each and every individual bound to a desk, to a house, to a corporate structure with no hope of escape. I do want these things, at least I think so. I just no longer want any dark mornings where I can only think about the way we all scuttle around like bugs in a bowl, upside down on this only life sustaining planet.
Billions of people fighting for the same things, the same enlightenment, the same scrap of bread. There is so much hate, so much negativity towards our fellow man that sometimes I just want to stop and scream from the bottom of my lungs: Please just realize what you are doing.
Each man is an organism, the same as any other eukaryote, just a system of molecules working together, forming hydrogen bonds to accomplish shared goals and visions. There is no reason for judgement on such a process. There is only admiration for the incredible miracle of science that we all are. Trillions of individual atoms conspiring to draw a breath. Billions of cells working together to move us forward.
I hope that someday I can figure this all out, the way that life really works. Billions of people have been trying for thousands of years, but still, sometimes in those perfect late night comfortable drives home, I catch a glimpse. I almost see where I can cut behind the scenes and truly discover what is really pushing us forward.
Until then, I will let you know what I find. Right here.